Old And Gay

 Why do they call it "Old Man Winter"? I suppose it's because no matter how young you are, Winter will always be an old weather phenomenon that affects most everyone.  (Fuck you, people in tropical climates.)  A lot of people romanticize Winter, and I too, would like to stare out the window while drinking my hot chocolate and get a fuzzy, cozy feeling about the beauty of Winter.  I would like to, but I won't. I'm old, my old injuries and surgeries ache anytime the barometric pressure changes, I have to wait hours after one of my hot showers before I go outside, and even then I have to wrap myself up to look like a human burrito.  When I finally go outside with 13 layers of clothing, I inevitably run into some dick jogging in their short shorts, or some idiot on a bicycle headed my way and shouting "cold enough for ya?!" So many times I hear people say "Oh, I love Winter and its magic!"  Shut the hell up.  You just like being warm indoors out of...

I'd be the first to admit that when I was younger and cruising up gay bars, I would see right past the old guys and ignore they even existed.  I would, if it was true.  I was that rare guy that was into much older men even when I was in my twenties.  My friends hated it, but I loved it because I had little or no competition.  It was nothing for my friends to see me go home with someone twenty years my senior and return in the morning with a big smile on my face. All daddy issues aside, I see now how those older men must have felt when they went to gay bars.  I have tried to smile at younger men in the club, I have tried to start conversations out of sheer politeness, but I was treated like I was invisible, or worse, like I was some sort of infectious disease no one wanted to get close to.  Shallow, I know.  But in the spirit of that same shallow mentality, I haven't been to a gay bar in ages because I realized there was no one there that I found physic...

FACTS FOR THE TIME CAPSULE: At the time of this writing, it is the end of October 2020, Covid-19 still has us by the balls, my body is falling apart, and life sucks because most of America is broke, unemployed, and too stupid to realize it.  Social life, if you dare have one, comes with the ever-present risk that you might pick up a disease and die, or unwittingly bring that disease home and kill your loved ones.  The presidential election, also known as "give big companies all your money now or later", is right around the corner, and I have no idea who is going to win, or how anyone could vote for either one of the two leading geriatric bozos.  (Talk about picking the less painful of two fistings!) In essence, we have lost the last remaining traces of social innocence that we enjoyed for so long. All caught up? Great. None of these guys are me, but if they were, I'd want to secretly get it on with all of them late at night in the tent behind us. Then we would wake up in ...