Old And Gay

 

You young whipper-snappers have it so good these days! You have a whole month dedicated to you so you can dress up in drag, go on parades, lisp away in public all day, give your money to any business that will wave a gay flag, and then be celebrated for it.  Enjoy it, queers!  This was brought to you by all those old queens and poor gay victims that got their ass kicked, arrested, or killed just so that we can be openly gay today. Most of you will never know what it's like to be the victim of a military witchhunt, and be kicked out of the military for being gay.  Most of you will never know what it's like to be chased down by a bunch of raging homophobic drunks who want to kick your ass because they heard you like to suck dick.  Most of you will never know the pain of being gay in the closet, and wondering if life is worth living.  But, hey! Happy Pride Month! The moral of my rant and rave here is that you're welcome to celebrate all you want, but just remember ...

 Every single time I open a new browser window, I get headlines about famous people and their suffering due to some manner of ill fortune. I honestly don't give a flying fart about the woes of rich and famous persons.  These are people who monetize their lives at the expense of countless others who are suffering worse fates and misfortunes.  Give me headlines that make me feel good, give me headlines that make me happy.  Give me headlines that fill me with joy for good reasons.  I don't get off to hearing about the elites suffering like normal people.  Leave that tabloid crap in the tabloids where it can fester.  Leave it out of my internet browsers.

I would love to have been the person who took this photo! At first I thought it was someone who got caught in some sort of flash flood.  The naked man distracted me from taking in his surroundings.  After some focus, I realized this is a vintage image of what looks like a beefy guy washing his modified pickup at the river's edge.  You can see the old train bridge crossing in the distant background, but more importantly, you can see that beefy ass and thick build right in front!  There probably isn't much of this going on anymore.  Now we have subscription carwashes, and few people would be caught dead handwashing their own vehicle, much less doing it naked at the edge of some nearby river.  Moments like these are gone now because of all the technology around us.  That's why vintage photos of these special moments of a man and his truck are so special. 

 Why do they call it "Old Man Winter"? I suppose it's because no matter how young you are, Winter will always be an old weather phenomenon that affects most everyone.  (Fuck you, people in tropical climates.)  A lot of people romanticize Winter, and I too, would like to stare out the window while drinking my hot chocolate and get a fuzzy, cozy feeling about the beauty of Winter.  I would like to, but I won't. I'm old, my old injuries and surgeries ache anytime the barometric pressure changes, I have to wait hours after one of my hot showers before I go outside, and even then I have to wrap myself up to look like a human burrito.  When I finally go outside with 13 layers of clothing, I inevitably run into some dick jogging in their short shorts, or some idiot on a bicycle headed my way and shouting "cold enough for ya?!" So many times I hear people say "Oh, I love Winter and its magic!"  Shut the hell up.  You just like being warm indoors out of...

I'd be the first to admit that when I was younger and cruising up gay bars, I would see right past the old guys and ignore they even existed.  I would, if it was true.  I was that rare guy that was into much older men even when I was in my twenties.  My friends hated it, but I loved it because I had little or no competition.  It was nothing for my friends to see me go home with someone twenty years my senior and return in the morning with a big smile on my face. All daddy issues aside, I see now how those older men must have felt when they went to gay bars.  I have tried to smile at younger men in the club, I have tried to start conversations out of sheer politeness, but I was treated like I was invisible, or worse, like I was some sort of infectious disease no one wanted to get close to.  Shallow, I know.  But in the spirit of that same shallow mentality, I haven't been to a gay bar in ages because I realized there was no one there that I found physic...

FACTS FOR THE TIME CAPSULE: At the time of this writing, it is the end of October 2020, Covid-19 still has us by the balls, my body is falling apart, and life sucks because most of America is broke, unemployed, and too stupid to realize it.  Social life, if you dare have one, comes with the ever-present risk that you might pick up a disease and die, or unwittingly bring that disease home and kill your loved ones.  The presidential election, also known as "give big companies all your money now or later", is right around the corner, and I have no idea who is going to win, or how anyone could vote for either one of the two leading geriatric bozos.  (Talk about picking the less painful of two fistings!) In essence, we have lost the last remaining traces of social innocence that we enjoyed for so long. All caught up? Great. None of these guys are me, but if they were, I'd want to secretly get it on with all of them late at night in the tent behind us. Then we would wake up in ...